It’s not just the way she speaks. Like the Superstar, she can wear the most colorful pair of sunglasses or even a fluorescent jacket and look pretty stylish. Just the way Rajini would walk fast and throw the pen right into the pen stand with his left, my friend is like the ‘express train’ in whatever she does.
Well, things have slowed down now. She gasps for breath after walking barely five steps. All thanks to Tilotama. She was lying down after her sixth chemo. She became both physically and mentally weak. “I’m tired of this, baby. Let’s just stop all this chemo. I can’t take it anymore,” she said, tears flowing incessantly through her eyes.
“We have crossed the halfway mark. We can’t give up now, can we?” I said, knowing very well these words were least comforting to her ears. What do I do to cheer her up? Her birthday was fast approaching. I sat down to make a plan. I rummaged through my memories to recollect the requests that she had made to me in the past.
Ting! One memory chip of my brain lit up. I remembered a time when she had said, “Take me to music director AR Rahman’s studio once please. I want to see him in action there. Please do that for me. What kind of a journalist are you otherwise!”
I began with an e-mail to Rahman sir’s personal assistant. He said he would try. I followed up for a couple of days, but was petrified that this may not fructify because the legendary music director was busy with a concert in Dubai. I was back to square one.
How about our ‘Thalaivar’? Was it far-fetched? My friend and I are die-hard fans of the Superstar. I messaged one of the closest associates of the family. I wasn’t too sure if I’d get a response in my favour. I heavily banked on the Tilotama card. I was desperate, nervous, fidgety and anxious. I got a reply almost immediately. “Remind me on December 14,” it said. Does it mean Rajini sir would oblige on the 14th? Or does it mean ‘we’ll see’ on the 14th? This cryptic message was killing me.
Like my friend, I tried to keep my expectations low. I thought of personalised gifts. I thought of a clock with our picture in it. I thought of a few other things that would excite her - right from a watch strap to a neon cap. I surprised her with a gift every day for at least 5-6 days leading to her birthday. Every morning, I’d wake up and say, “What is my friend waiting for?” I’d have no answer. I’d then unwrap the gift and show it to her. I’d be overwhelmed to see her smile holding the gift close to her heart. I kept wishing she'd wake up and ask me, “Where’s my gift today baby?”
That never happened.
It was December 15. We were at the hospital getting an ultrasound done for her. The doctor wanted to keep a close eye on the lymph node near her pelvis that was showing an uptake in the PET scan that was done earlier. To our luck, the size had decreased assuring us that the uptake was due to an infection, in this case the Fistula.
My friend was too weak to celebrate. Just as we got home, I got a video message. And I literally jumped off my seat. It was Superstar Rajinikanth’s video message, wishing my friend for her birthday. Oh my God! Was he stylish? I was floored and humbled. I thanked the person, who helped make this happen. I was so pleased to know that Rajini sir asked for my friend’s reaction once the video was shown to her. How sweet is that!
I’ve never kept anything from her. It took all my might to keep this video message a secret until her birthday. Her parents and sister were busy decorating the hall with balloons. My job was to put her to sleep early. I partially succeeded. Right through the night, a couple of balloons burst with a loud noise, waking her up. And I kept coming up with the most ridiculous explanation for the noise.
The day dawned. She was too weak to walk on December 16. We all sat up to wish her a happy birthday as she slowly waltzed through the hall. “Hey balloons! Am I a kid? I am 37 now,” she laughed at all this, hiding her embarrassment. We decided to cut an ice cream cake in the morning since she wasn’t quite well that day. She wore the ‘Friends’ t-shirt that I had got her. She was struggling to sit at the table because the smell of the balloons was nauseating for her.
We moved the table to her bedroom. We video-called a chosen few, which included my parents and a cousin of mine. Her niece, aunt, uncle and brother-in-law were present virtually to wish her. It was just a matter of 30 minutes where she cut the cake, smiled at everyone, personally said ‘thank you’ to each one, and had one spoon of the cream on top. The next minute, she was lying down. She was fatigued. She had no energy the entire day.
How do I show her the Rajini video when she is like this? She couldn’t even walk to the loo without help. She was miserable that day. I was sending ‘thank you’ messages to her friends on the phone. All of us were dull and gloomy. The effect of chemo and the filgrastim injection that she had taken a day earlier to up her blood count were playing havoc in her body.
I was hoping the next day would be a better one. That’s all we can do - hope! The night was dark and lonely.
She woke up the next day and seemed a bit better. I judge that by the way she walks. I requested her to wear the ‘Rajini’ t-shirt I had got her earlier. She said, “Anything for you baby.” I smiled at her attitude. She tries to be cheerful on days that she can.
I finally sent the video to her phone. She was in shock. Then disbelief. “What!” she exclaimed. “How did you do that?” she squealed in delight. “Hey! Did he really say my name?” she screamed.
The Superstar’s voice thundered through her phone, “Hi there! Happy birthday. God bless. Stay strong. Everything will be alright. Have faith in God. I pray for you. Love you!”
I have this newfound respect for the legendary star. In one of the movies, Thalaivar said, “Po da! Aandavane namma pakkam irukaan (meaning: Get lost! Even God is on our side).” My friend and I began saying this to Tilotama, “Po da! Thalaivare namma pakkam irukaar (meaning: Get lost! Even Rajinikanth is on our side).”
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